[part 1 is here]
[part 2 is here]
So finally, after a load of mayhem there was a good news. Apparently they had played a prank by sparking rumors that they are going to include GD in the recruitment process. Now the eliminated GD phase was a bonus like finding secret levels in mario video game that helps you to hop dangerous levels like a frog.
The Interview was about to begin in half hour after the results of written test were declared. The time was provided for getting ready for Interview and for guys like me, to take a bath. I hate taking baths. Yeah, if there were any tablets which can be taken instead of taking a bath, I would love that. But unfortunately, the useless scientist tries to discover water on natural satellite moon instead of inventing bathing pills (maybe for the astronauts so that they could enjoy taking a bath at the moon). I have my reasons to hate baths. Despite of the fact it's time consuming, wasting valuable natures' resource: It makes my towel wet and stinky. Apparently waterproof towels have not been invented till now, another failure of useless scientists.
So, I skipped taking bath and washed my face with Rommie's Himalaya face wash, put my formal dress on, that sleazy plain shirt and lousy trouser, stinky socks with the leather shoes which was borrowed, And left for the interview. In the midways, I saw my esteemed friend coming back to the hostel with his folder in his hand, formal pink shirt, brown trousers, black leather shoes. And two and a half feet long blue colored object of my interest. The Tie. Eventually, he has failed to clear the written test. I couldn't help laughing at this ironic twist of fate. I borrowed the tie and left for the library where the interview was in progress. Merely I have reached there, I got the call to get inside.
The ambiance inside was rather spiritual. It resembled the environment of a cremation ground. The only difference was the noise of holy fire was replaced by the ceiling fans.
And through the transparent glasses I have seen in the library's reading section. All tables and chairs gone. No more bookshelves. There were four monsters lurking behind the tables in four corners of the grand hall with laptops on the table before them. On the farthest diagonally opposite corner there was a dark bald man with a huge belly. Suddenly I felt some fingers running over my shoulders. One of the organizers pointed his finger toward that dark man and said, "there". You are the next.
[part 2 is here]
So finally, after a load of mayhem there was a good news. Apparently they had played a prank by sparking rumors that they are going to include GD in the recruitment process. Now the eliminated GD phase was a bonus like finding secret levels in mario video game that helps you to hop dangerous levels like a frog.
The Interview was about to begin in half hour after the results of written test were declared. The time was provided for getting ready for Interview and for guys like me, to take a bath. I hate taking baths. Yeah, if there were any tablets which can be taken instead of taking a bath, I would love that. But unfortunately, the useless scientist tries to discover water on natural satellite moon instead of inventing bathing pills (maybe for the astronauts so that they could enjoy taking a bath at the moon). I have my reasons to hate baths. Despite of the fact it's time consuming, wasting valuable natures' resource: It makes my towel wet and stinky. Apparently waterproof towels have not been invented till now, another failure of useless scientists.
So, I skipped taking bath and washed my face with Rommie's Himalaya face wash, put my formal dress on, that sleazy plain shirt and lousy trouser, stinky socks with the leather shoes which was borrowed, And left for the interview. In the midways, I saw my esteemed friend coming back to the hostel with his folder in his hand, formal pink shirt, brown trousers, black leather shoes. And two and a half feet long blue colored object of my interest. The Tie. Eventually, he has failed to clear the written test. I couldn't help laughing at this ironic twist of fate. I borrowed the tie and left for the library where the interview was in progress. Merely I have reached there, I got the call to get inside.
The ambiance inside was rather spiritual. It resembled the environment of a cremation ground. The only difference was the noise of holy fire was replaced by the ceiling fans.
And through the transparent glasses I have seen in the library's reading section. All tables and chairs gone. No more bookshelves. There were four monsters lurking behind the tables in four corners of the grand hall with laptops on the table before them. On the farthest diagonally opposite corner there was a dark bald man with a huge belly. Suddenly I felt some fingers running over my shoulders. One of the organizers pointed his finger toward that dark man and said, "there". You are the next.
Me: good after soon sir!
The Interviewer apparently not looking at me was busy scribbling on some paper looking like electricity bill. that i guessed was the evaluation sheet.
Interviewer: ohh! sit down !please handover your CV!!
I pulled out one-page long CV out of folder that details the chronicles of my entire life in an entertaining fashion along with the integers to validate the fact that all the anecdotes mentioned in the CV are funny and not to be taken seriously.
After throwing a look at CV the Interviewer asked:
"whats your name?"Aahaaan!!! Now that was the question I was most confident about! And it was my chance to shine and prove my worth as an able job-getter aspirant. All I needed was to come up with the impressive ascent on the syllable that appears thoughtful, useful, unique , sincere and would be fondly remembered.
Me: sir, my name is...
Interviewer: OK! Mr. Amit you have mentioned that your area of interest is Database.....
At that point I felt like to rip him him down and rip him apart into pieces. He interrupted me before I could tell him my name gain some confidence.
.......management System!Can you define it ?
Me: Yes sir!
after a silence of a second or two, he asked again: "Define it!" this time in demanding tone.
Me: ohh. sorry sir!! sir database management system is collection of information and software in which the information is centrally located and...
Interviewer: You are comfortable in which language ..?Me: English sir!
I babbled without thinking. the black man slowly moved his eyes up to find mine and looked at me the way predator looks the eyes of his prey. The predator knows that there is no chance for its prey and the prey eventually aware that there is no turning back for him either. A cold voice spoke in an extremely polite and sarcastic tone:
"I was talking about the programming language.... Mr."
Me: arrr.. sorry sir i have mistaken you! i am comfortable in sea and sea plus
Interviewer: really? are you sure?
Me: yesh .. sir!
Interviewer: but there are few applicant who have mentioned that they are knowledgeable about java and dot net too!
Me: they might have mentioned that sir! even i m "aware" about them. java was included in our curriculum. but I had never made projects using java or dot net. and I have not mastered that ART yet , so i haven't mentioned them in my profile. but you can ask me questions from java too and dot net too to explore my knowledge about it.
Interviewer: You have mentioned c and c++ in you resume. that means you have mastered that ART??
I stared back into his drunkard yellow eyes and told him:
"of course sir"
the interviewer ought for a moment or two and asked again
" i going to give you a program of to write a file handler! do you think you can execute it successfully?
Me: of course sir!
at this answer he smirked at me as he could read my mind that i wasn't sure and asked,
Interviewer: OK! i trust you. now tell me what is a null key?
now that was the question not related to any programming language. but the DBMS. so he playing game with me. the Interviewer bombarded me with his random question from all corners of engineering. he was rather trying to confuse me. But i don't know how I did managed.. but I held my nerves and rescued myself somehow.
Interviewer: now i m going to ask you a final question. a puzzle in fact.
Me: ok sir!
the Interviewer picked up my CV and drew a figure on back side, something symmetric to the figure we draw when playing Tic_tac_toe in lecture classes.
Interviewer : now suppose this is a square
"how the hell this is supposed to a square!!"I bit my tongue when i was on the verge of poking that out.
Interviewer: and these are two adjacent sides x and y
Me: sir , if its is a square then all sides must me equal that clearly means x=y and...
I Interrupted him. again i said that without thinking. I froze dead.
The Interviewer spoke in an evil tone :
"Alwaaaaays Mr. Amit!! always listen to the question first".
For a moment my eyes met the Interviewer's. It had a gangster looks into his eyes it seemed to be saying "Game Over". Have you ever looked Into the eyes of Interviewer after cracking an annoying and unintentional joke which is not funny at all? You must try it someday. It is a very spiritual feeling. It's like looking into the eyes of chitragupt, the charted accountant of heaven who is evaluating your karma. You suddenly have this inexplicable urge to bow down and ask for forgiveness for trampling on earth. At that point I have realized that the Interviewers are true ruler of the universe. we are just pollutants and dirt.
Me: sorry sir!!
Interviewer: hmm If I increase both side by two times, what will be the incrementation in the area?
Me: 4 times sir!
Interviewer: are you sure?
"absolutely sure !!"
I said, revising my answer!
And at the next moment he got up, stabled my CV with performa and said " proceed upstairs to attend your HR Interview!"
And somehow I managed to clear HR interview too. That was also nothing less than a fiasco and i will surely write a blog on that someday. But as I look back the technical interview, I can help thinking , How terrible it was.
